Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Ricky Martin

Ricky Martin has recently come out as a gay man.

I don't believe people should out celebrities if they themselves have not come out yet, because coming out of the closet is a personal process that everyone, famous or not, gay or bisexual, has to go through and one should only come out when they're ready to, when they've accepted themselves and learned to love themselves completely.

That's why I was so happy when Ricky Martin was on Oprah recently and talked about his process of coming out as a gay man (and you can watch the full episode below):

People were mocking my sexuality, and I was like: "I don't want to be that. Is that me? I totally want to reject myself. You know what? I think I hate myself." And that's where you go. Those are the thoughts where you go. That's why I must insist when someone is not ready, we must not try to force that person to come out. Right now we're dealing with people that are being bullied because they are gay, and now we're dealing with people that are committing suicide because they're forced to come out. And that is horrible. You're ready whenever you're ready. You have to go through a process. You have to go through a very spiritual process in order for you to accept yourself, and then it feels amazing when you do so.
Ricky Martin, above, with his two beautiful sons.

I'm so happy for him. I have several gay members of my family and many gay friends, and I love them with all my heart and I know that it is not a choice, they were born that way and that is something a lot of people in this world still have yet to understand.

Filipinos in general are very open-minded about being gay. In the native Malay culture of pre-Spanish colonial Philippines (the Spanish colonizers actually brought homophobia to the Philippines, as Latin culture in itself and in general is very homophobic due to misconceptions about machismo), and like many other Asian cultures like in India and Thailand (which shares our Malay heritage), and Malayo-Polynesian cultures like in Tahiti, Samoa, and Hawai'i where I grew up, gay men and women are viewed as the "third sex", but that does not mean that there still unfortunately isn't a stigma associated with being gay in Philippine society.

When journalists and television hosts on Filipino showbiz programs talk about an "intriga" of gay rumors about a certain celebrity, the way it's handled is as if it's scandalous to be gay, and when people say things like "Piolo Pascual is not gay! You're just a hater!", it shows that people view being gay as if it were to be an insult, and that's not right, because there's nothing wrong with being gay, and referring to someone as gay should not be viewed or said in a negative light. By the way, I'm just referring to Piolo Pascual since his sexuality has often been discussed in the Philippine news media. At the end of the day, the only thing I wish for Piolo is that he learns to love himself completely and honestly and that he finds happiness in his life.

Also, no offense to Cesar Montano, who is an amazing actor and who I am very proud of for his accomplishments in Hollywood, but it was funny to me when the American media during the promotion of his 2005 movie "The Great Raid" referred to him as the "Tom Cruise of the Philippines", because if there is one "Tom Cruise of the Philippines", based on how the news media is obsessed with every step of his life, and with every piece of Adobo chicken he puts in his mouth, Piolo Pascual is definitely the "Tom Cruise of the Philippines."

Scientists have discovered that the most homophobic men and women are often secretly gay themselves and are in deep psychological self-denial. These are the ones who say "That's so gay!" or "You're so gay!" and mean it as an insult or something bad. It doesn't matter if you say those phrases jokingly, the message is sent: being gay is a negative thing, and that's wrong, because people are born gay. Would you say something like "That's so black!"? Of course not, because there is nothing wrong with being black.

It's called psychological repression and denial, or more specifically, latent homosexuality, and the way they subconsciously handle the fear they have of being gay is manifested often in anxiety and negativity towards those who are comfortable with being gay or bisexual as a way to publicly declare to others and themselves that they're "not gay". Of course at the end of the day, their efforts are futile, because the more you repress an emotion, and in this case, an integral part of your biological being, your sexuality, your desires, your emotions, eventually it will catch up to you, and you will have to face the truth eventually. Some men or women are never able to face the truth that they are gay or bisexual until the day they die, and live a life that is a lie, and that is very sad and tragic indeed.

I believe that God loves unconditionally. The day when a man or woman does not have to hide the fact that they are gay or bisexual, especially from themselves as there are still millions of gay men and women in this world who are in self-denial about their own sexuality, and the day when all men and women who are gay or bisexual can feel happy and secure in themselves, will be a happy and blessed day indeed for this world.